


Remember me

by Harryshumart



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Abusive Parents, Alec Lightwood Deserves Nice Things, Anal Sex, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Bad Parenting, Bottom Alec Lightwood, Child Loss, Childhood Memories, Declarations Of Love, Drunk Sex, F/F, F/M, Falling In Love, False Memories, Gay Alec Lightwood, Good Parent Maryse Lightwood, Heavy Angst, Hurt Alec, Hurt Alec Lightwood, Hurt Magnus Bane, Insecure Alec Lightwood, Insecure Magnus Bane, Loss of Control, Loss of Faith, Loss of Identity, Loss of Powers, Loss of Trust, Love Confessions, M/M, Magnus Bane Deserves Nice Things, Memory Loss, Memory Magic, Memory Related, Oral Sex, Pain, Protective Alec Lightwood, Protective Magnus Bane, Repressed Memories, Sad Alec, Shower Sex, Top Magnus Bane, True Love, Trust Issues, Underhill being a great friend, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-20
Updated: 2019-03-20
Packaged: 2019-11-26 12:06:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,973
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18180380
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Harryshumart/pseuds/Harryshumart
Summary: Everything was going downhill.Magnus was walking the line between life and death. He was shredding from the inside, with each passing second. Lorenzo Rey couldn't help, because his magic wasn't the reason why Magnus was dying in Alec's arms. It was far deeper than that. So Alec did the only thing that could save his soulmate.He summoned Asmodeus with the help of his friends. But the payment was heavier than any of them was able to carry.In exchange for his life, Magnus had to give up what mattered to him the most:His memories.Including Alexander.





	Remember me

Magnus was dying in Alec's arms. Alec was crying, Lorenzo was being unhelpful as usual. Everything went downhill.  
"What do you mean you can't help him?"

Alec didn't care Lorenzo was seeing him crying and breaking down. Magnus was laying  unconscious in his arms, the blood, the make up, all cleaned up by him. 

"I told you, this goes far deeper than my magic"  
Lorenzo felt genuinely sorry for the couple. Even though he hated Bane to the very much core, nobody deserved this much agony. He felt how Magnus was being shred from the inside, with each breath he was losing the painful fight. 

"This is dark magic. Really dark magic."  
"The kind of magic you've accused Magnus of?", Alec dried his tears and looked up to Lorenzo. The latter flinched, something changed in those hazelnut eyes.

"Is this Asmodeus' work?"  
His tone was dangerous.  
"Whatever is crossing your mind", Lorenzo tried to sound soft and understanding but it only added oil to a mass fire,  
"Don't. Believe me, Lightwood, this isn't something he would have wanted."

"Oh, but you know what he wants", Alec snorted, anger pulsing in his veins.  
"Like you did with the whole magic transfusion?"  
"He knew the risks."  
"I don't care!", yelled Alec frustrated. He still couldn't understand why Magnus did that, even though Magnus did try to explain it.

"I want you to summon Asmodeus. Now!"  
"Don't you think there's a reason why Bane hasn't summoned him here?", Lorenzo snapped,  
"He chained his father to Edom. For everybody's safety. I won't let you risk my people's life for your little fling."

He passed the line with that. One breath later he was gasping, Alec smashed him against the next wall.  
"How dare you say you care about your people", his voice was low, filled with coldness.

Lorenzo has seen this before. This behavior..it caused wars so many times already.  
"How dare you say he's a fling? You're less worth than the dirt underneath his shoes."  
Lorenzo gulped his pride down, he knew this wasn't the right moment for witty comebacks.

"You'll summon Asmodeus or you're gonna regret it"  
"That's not what he would've wanted" Lorenzo magiced space between them and ran over his jacket.

"Do you really want to pave his legacy with blood? Do you really think that's what he'd want?"  
Something changed in Alec's expression, for one moment Lorenzo hoped he brought him back to sanity, but then the determination came back.

"Magnus is my world. I'm willing to take the responsibility. You'll summon him here in the institute. He won't be able to leave it without permission. Nobody will be here except him and I."

Lorenzo seemed to think. He knew he wouldn't be able to change the boy's mind. It was safer he did it than any other clumsy warlock who will only get them into a crossfire.

"Very well. But remember, once you took that path there's no coming back. Understood, Lightwood?"  
Alec only nodded. 

He knew he should worry but he wasn't able to. Not while his love was slowly dying, because of him. 

He turned away to go back to Magnus, but stopped in his tracks when Lorenzo said the next words.  
"Aren't you curious about the price?"

~~~

Magnus' eyes were flattering. Sighing, he cuddled himself into Alec's sweater. But then he froze.  
He couldn't remember falling asleep against Alec. Nor laying on the floor of the institute.

Confused and groaning from the sudden pain he started to move.  
"It's okay, I'm here"  
Magnus blinked his eyes open and faced his boyfriend.  
Magnus smiled softly.

"Alexander", his voice was sore. Laying his hand on Alec's cheek he frowned once he noticed the dry tears.

"Why are you crying, pup?", he smiled at this nickname hoping it would lift the mood. But Alec wasn't even responding to it. 

He looked at him so deeply, as if he tried to remember every little detail of his face.  
"How are you?", his voice was barely a whisper. 

"My head hurts but other than that..", Magnus frowned at how silent Alec was.  
"Hey, what's going on?"  
"I'm so sorry"  
Tears were about to rush down his face, his eyes all red and puffy. As if he has cried the whole night long.  
"Wha-"

Then he recognized Lorenzo's voice. He was standing in the middle of the empty institute, in front of a pentagram, speaking in an all to familiar language. His father's.

"What his happening ?", he tensed.  
Then he saw the group standing behind Alec, with tears and sad smiles. 

"I hope you can forgive me. You are dying, Magnus. And I can't let it happen, I can't loose you. Lorenzo's magic is only keeping you awake temporarily, I thought you should be conscious now."  
Magnus has never seen Alec so devastated. Not even when Jace was the owl.

"You're scaring me."  
And then he heard the voice of his father.  
"Son!", the cheerful voice was choking him.  
Alec flinched when he saw the deep betrayal in Magnus' eyes. The hurt.

It reminded him about their fight and how he thought he lost Magnus. But this was worse. So so much worse.

"What? Ain't you hugging your father? Don't you want to introduce me to this Shadowhunter I've heard a lot about? Where are your manners? I've certainly haven't raised you like that, son."  
Magnus wanted to throw up.

He wanted to push Alec away, but he only got aware of the lack of his strength. This wasn't good. Panic was rising in his veins. Magnus shivered, closed his eyes and tried to remember what happened. They were at Alec's office, were talking about moving in together, about the walk-in closet..it hit him.

The pain, the dizziness, Alec calling after his name, the floor. Then he remembered dancing and laughter. It confused him, nothing made sense. 

And then he recognized Cat's magic still pulsing through his veins, sending him dreams. She did this often for patients who suffered pain and agony.

"So you're ignoring me now? After everything I've done for you?"  
"What are you doing here?", Magnus' voice was sharp, shrill. His guards were down, he wasn't in the position to protect himself. He was horrified.

"You have to ask you lovely angelblooded boytoy. Really, Magnus, nephilim? He's not even that handsome"  
Alec felt how Magnus' hurt eyes layed on him, all tenderness gone.

"After everything I've told you", Magnus choked.  
"I had no choice", the desperation mixed itself with Alec's tears.

"You were dying, Magnus!"  
"Well, you should've let me!"  
Magnus tried to stand up, wanted to put his armor on, anything but to give Asmodeus this superior feeling.  
He didn't come far.

Dizziness took over him, Alec catched him and held him tight. Right now his touch felt like poison.

"Let me!", hot tears were choking him. He was back into his old self looking for his mom. All this blood, all this desperation.

"Feeling ill, son?" Asmodeus' voice was sweet like honey. He surpassed the pentagram with no effort. Magnus became pale once he realized the space between them was smaller and smaller with each graze step his father took.

"Go..just, please", Magnus was terrified. Seeing the man he loved so close next to the man who destroyed him completely. He wouldn't be able to live with himself if something would happen to his Alexander.

Asmodeus raised an eyebrow, interested. He hasn't seen his son being that invested into someone like this in a very long time.  
"Is he your new Christopher?" 

Magnus winced, darkness was digging its claws into his back, tried to pull him into the void, but he couldn't.  
"Please", he was exhausted, "I'll do whatever you want..just leave him alone"

Alec's grip around him got tighter.  
"I-I want a deal."  
Asmodeus started to laugh, loudly. Magnus looked up to Alec's tearful eyes and swallowed.  
What has he done?

"The precious Lightwood heir, filled up with pride and prejudice, wants a deal with the devil?", Asmodeus chuckled, amused by the whole thing,  
"Magnus, what have you done to this one?"

"He's delusional. He doesn't know what he's talking about", Magnus heart was racing, cold sweat was running down his skin, mixed itself with the fresh blood which was dropping from his nose. He only had to wait till Alec was out of danger, then he could sleep. He was so tired.

"I do!", Alec cut him off, the leader came back into his soul. He straightened himself more, probably would've stand up if it wasn't for Magnus.  
"You did this to him. He's dying."  
It was rather a statement than a question.

"Sometimes you have to do drastic moves to break the stubbornness of your child.", Asmodeus shrugged and smiled lovely.  
"And it worked just fine, didn't it? Seems like you will join your dear father sooner than expected, son" 

"I..I'll do whatever you want. Just don't hurt him, please father.", he pushed Alec away, but the latter didn't let him. He was pressed against Alec's strong chest. Normally it was his safe place, but now it only choked him.  
"He doesn't know what he's doing."

"Magnus, I won't let you die. I can't.", Alec pressed his lips together and looked up to Asmodeus.  
"I don't know why you did this to him. I guess demons just can't love. But-"

"How dare you say I don't love him?", something shifted in Asmodeus' eyes,  
"I love him more than any of you do. But he's naive and foolish. Once he's in love he stops thinking."  
Asmodeus raised a finger, Alec gasped from the sudden pain. He started to cough. His siblings immediately jumped to attack, but Alec held them back. This was their last chance.

"Do you think you love him?"  
Asmodeus voice was soft but at the same time sharp as a knife.  
"If you do you would've never let it come so far. Look at him. Look what you did to him. Is this love? You humans are so ridiculous. You dont love, you abuse."

An invisible touch forced Alec to look at Magnus. The latter looked away, shivered and spit blood. Magnus was fighting to stay awake, but this shrill noise made it so damn hard. 

"Is this love, huh? Is this the Magnus you fell in love with? Is this the man I've raised? Are you proud of yourself? You gave him the knife and watched him bleed. But I guess it's not your fault. After all, the blood of angels is in your veins. They always thought they're better than everyone else.", Asmodeus grimaced at the thought of his former siblings, but seeing the shadowhunter fall apart in front of him was satisfying in so many ways.

Alec wanted to protest, to throw something at him, facts, arrows, rocks, something. But the only thing which was leaving his body were salty tears. He fought for words.  
"If you love him, save him."

"Alexander, no-", Magnus cried out his name, he knew his father. He would rather die than ask his father for help again, but Alec's gaze shut him Alec took Magnus' hand kissed it and then wiped the blood from his nose and mouth away.  
"It's okay. Everything will be fine, I promise"

"Under one condition.", the couple looked frightened at the greater demon, seeing his son like this reminded him on much easier times, times where Magnus loved him unconditionally.  
"I want something from you."

"Anything"  
Alec didn't even hesitate. Magnus was his world, he would give up anything for him.  
"Not from you, nephilim. But I like your enthusiasm.", Asmodeus smiled and looked to his son.  
"I think you know what I want."

Magnus' eyes widened. He started to shake his head so fast, Alec was afraid it would fall off his shoulders.  
"No! Forget it!"  
Alec was confused. What were they talking about?

"What does he want? I'm sure the institute can pay it somehow"  
Why would a demon want money? Alec doubted they had malls in Edom.

Magnus looked him into the eyes and closed them then. Alec has never seen him like that before. So wrecked, exhausted..empty.  
"He wants my memories, Alexander."

"Including your memories with this little shadowhunter", Asmodeus smiled lovely at them.  
Alec became pale too.  
"What? That would mean-"

"Ask your dear blond friend, he knows how it is to forget, am I right?"  
Looking to Jace who was devastated, the greater demon laughed.

"It will be the best for you, son. Listen to your father."  
Magnus hid his face into Alec's shoulder, he couldn't think straight. Everything hurt.  
The pain was everywhere. 

Alec immediately started to run his long fingers through his sweaty hair, soothed the pain somehow. 

"I know what you're thinking now, nephilim. But as you all know: the law is the law. And if I can remember correctly, the clave has their own rules and punishments for telling mundanes about the shadow world.", Asmodeus waved with his hand elegant, a potion was summoned between his fingers.

"If you try and tell him about the shadow world, you'll break the deal and cause the death of you immediately. I don't like people who break rules."

Asmodeus handed Magnus the little familiar elixir which brought him here in the first place. His potion to make someone fall out of love. The one Lilith gave Jace.

"No", he was wincing from the pain, it was awful but nothing was worse than not.  
How could they expect him to do this? 

"Don't do this me"  
Magnus was sobbing now, begging Alec while holding tightly on his chest. His head was killing him, he was shivering and covered in cold sweat. He knew death called him, whispered those soothing words, but he couldn't give in. No matter how horrible the pain was.  
He couldn't leave his Alexander.  
"Don't let him do this to me. To us"

Magnus spit blood again. With trembling hands Alec wiped the blood away and cupped his face. Tears were running down his cheeks, making it impossible to keep his voice steady.

"I won't loose you. I can't"  
He leaned his head against Magnus' and tried to coat the next words with as much confidence and trust as he could.

"I will find you, I won't give up. No matter what world, no matter what universe or destiny, you're my future, Magnus Bane. I won't give up on you, on us. You and me, we always find our way back to each other, right?", he sobbed and tried to memorize every little detail of Magnus' face, while his smile was drowned in tears.

Magnus choked on his laugh or on his tears, he wasn't sure He sobbed and caressed Alec's cheek for a last time.

"You're hopelessly romantic", his voice was barely a whisper.  
"I have to keep up with your drama, don't I?"  
Watching Magnus laugh, he took his necklace with the Lightwood ring off.

Magnus' breath hitched, his eyes widened confused.  
"Wha-"  
He put the necklace around Magnus' neck with shivering fingers.

"Keep this as a promise. It's the Lightwood family ring. I was given it from my parents who got it from their parents and so on. This is my promise. I'll find you and then we're gonna have our own little family and-", his voice cracked up. Behind him he could hear his siblings sob. They knew how much this meant to him. 

"I can't-"  
"You can and you will. You'll get a fancier proposal, I promise"  
Magnus' tears were rushing down his face, falling down onto the ring. Alec took Magnus' trembling hand, kissed it softly and led it then to the ring. Magnus immediately wrapped his fingers around it, held it close to his heart.

"Aku cinta kamu"  
Magnus smiled sadly. He hasn't spoken those words for centuries.  
"What does it mean?"  
"I love you"  
Then, Magnus kissed him with everything he had. They held onto each other as if it would be their only rescue. The kiss was as passionate and promising as their first kiss.

"We have to seal the deal", Asmodeus suddenly ripped them away from their safe place. They both took a deep breath and leaned against each other.

"Aku cinta kamu", muttered Alec back into his ear before he took the paper from Asmodeus who already signed it.

Old fashioned as known, they had to sign it with blood. After Magnus did it too, he was dragged away from demonic creatures.  
With the last strength he had he held onto Alec's shirt and kissed him a last time, before being dragged away. 

Watching his son standing or more likely leaning against his pets next to the portal, Asmodeus grinned proudly.  
"It was great getting to know you, Lightwood."

Alec ignored him completely, his eyes fixed on the only one that matter: Magnus.  
Magnus looked at him with tearful eyes, while he protected the ring inside his fist with everything he had.

Asmodeus suddenly reached inside of Alec with no warning. He took a slither of his soul.

Alec gasped, all energy left him. He never felt such pain before. Collapsing against Jace, he watched with blurry gaze how Asmodeus walked over to Magnus and gave him the potion.

Alec wished he wouldn't have watched the procedure. Magnus chucked the potion down like a shot after staring at him for an eternity. He was still holding onto the ring.

The whole time he looked at Alec, hoping it would help him not to forget him.  
But there was no rescue. After all he created the potion. 

So Alec watched him with teary eyes. Slowly, Magnus' eyes lost the warmth they've always worn, the tenderness, the softness. He looked at Alec.  
and there was nothing but void. 

Then, they were gone.  
And Alec broke down.

**Author's Note:**

> This is how I imagined could have season 3 end, before the..you know what.  
> This is my first fanfic here on AO3, I hope you'll enjoy suffering;)


End file.
